Shoes, Shoes

If you want to run, do not have size 13 4E feet. Life is just easier that way.

I would suggest going with a 9D. Actually, probably anything up to an 11 will be OK. But don't go wide.

"But wide gives me more support, more traction," you say.

Sure, but at the cost of a much louder flap as you thwack down the road. But that's not the main thing. The main thing is the limits that fat feet impose on your shoe choices.

Pretty much the only shoes with wide–and by wide I mean double-wide trailer girth wide; I mean circus clown wide, cop on the beat wide–seem to be New Balance and Asics. Everything else is made for those damn pixie runners (you know who you are) that are like 5'7" and weigh 145 pounds and can do 5:30 miles... But I digress.

Now, I would love to use a New Balance shoe, what with them being conscientiously made and having a nice out in Skowhegan, Maine. But their wides have never been a good fit for me.

So pretty much I am stuck with an Asics 4E . Not that there's anything wrong with that. In fact, I love my Asics Bionic Gel Supra 4612s, or whatever they are calling them these days.

But I do worry about being at the mercy of these guys. I mean, what do we REALLY know about Asics, anyway? Sure, their website says they have been around since 1977 (not as long as me, but OK) and were founded in Japan. Fine. And that they have 21 domestic and 23 overseas offices. Which is what worries me. I mean, can a mega corp like this really care about my fat dogs?

Tomorrow, the Asics suits could convene a board meeting in Tokyo and, anxious to get off to a relaxing evening of sake and steambaths, just arbitrarily decide that there is not enough demand for 4Es and so they are going to scale back, making 3E their largest size. Motion passed. Which way to the sake?

And where would that leave me? Sure, I could pull a Michael Moore, fly to Japan and track down CEO Kiyomi Wada, who would probably just smirk at the fat-footed gaijin and set his corporate samurais on me. And I could try to run away, but in what shoes?

So, anyway, back in the real world, my new Asics (Gel Supra 5000!) are supposed to arrive via UPS 2Day today. Tried four outlets in the immediate area and none carried a 13 4E. Now, I don't mean to sound alarmist, but I think this is a harbinger of the Apocalypse.